Doubt

i hope i've never come across as one of those people who seemed to have it all together, or who know all the answers, because i for sure don't. i think there's something to be said for honesty, for transparency, for being vulnerable. it's ok to let others know when things aren't chipper. right now if someone asked me how i feel, i'd say overwhelmed. i'm not complaining, just being honest. today i sat in a meeting of area ministers and service people discussing what to do with the near 1000 evacuees already living in the grapevine area. on top of that we began to coordinate our efforts for another possible 1000 who will come our way in the next few days. i also listened to stories of loss, saw faces of little hope, and it made my heart hurt. now while there are a lot of needs to be met, there are also many resources willing to be exhausted for these people. i witnessed that today, and it was encouraging. praise God.

still, i can't help but feel so small, so unsure about everything happening around me. i know it's good for God to humble us, and i believe humility is one key to authentic faith. but there are times when that humility turns to doubt, and i don't like it. i don't like being hesitant, i don't like the feelings of distrust that creep in.

please God, take away doubt and uncertainty; carry away these burdens i seem to lay on myself; erase the lies satan attempts to write into my life; fill my life with confidence, not in myself, but in the power of your will. help me be bold, but gentle at the same time. for i know you are faithful Lord, and there is nothing we can do to nullify your faithfulness (Romans 3:3,4). be true to your name God, be true in my life.